It's been 10 years...wow

On November 17, 2001 over a landline telephone I asked a gorgeous young girl named Sarah Monday to be my girlfriend.

We had just endured a freezing cold UT - Vandy football game together. As a Junior and Freshman in high school we were so young. In hindsight we had no idea what the next 10 years of dating would bring for us as individuals and a couple. In 4 days we will celebrate our 2nd year of marriage with a date.

In the fall of 2001 I remember I was drawn simply to her sweet spirit and giggle. Today, 10 years later I want to share 10 reasons I celebrate her as my best friend:

• She loves and follows Jesus Christ.
• She is the most fascinating person I know.
• She is my "excellent wife" which Solomon spoke about in Proverbs 31.
• She is compassionate and cares for people.
• She laughs at my jokes.
• She makes me look better in pictures.
• She has been by my side through my high-school years when I was awkward, my college years when I matured, my seminary years when I sought clarity in God's call and now my pastoral years as I serve Christ at Vintage Church.
• She is my great helper, spoken about in Genesis 2, who builds me up and supports me.
• She doesn't have braces anymore.
• She prays Psalm 67 and serves Christ in New Orleans alongside me.

To my married friends I encourage you like Paul did the Philippians in Philippians 4 to fill your mind, relationship and home with love, sacrifice, fun and forgiveness. Remember to constantly cultivate your relationship with Christ and each other. For more check out this blog: "Dating in Marriage....Really?"

To my single or engaged friends I encourage you from what Solomon said in Proverbs 4 to wisely pursue Christ and allow Him to work in your life. He is preparing and shaping your heart in this time. Taking His wisdom, as given in Scripture, into your heart will literally bring you new life. This will enable you to follow His plan for your individual life and a future spouse if the opportunity comes.

1 more flashback photo - Senior Prom (2003)

Mullets were cool back then.....

Dating in Marriage....Really! (Part 2)

The 1st Vintage Date Night last Friday was a huge success. We had 34 couples laughing, eating, painting and enjoying time together. One of my highlights was all the Facebook posts from couples with photos together showing off their paintings.

--Here is the Bricks' painting

Special thanks to the Big Artsy for accommodating our huge group. You should use them for a party this fall.

I saw an interesting news segment on the Today Show the other day related to dating, watch this-

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Did you hear the progression that happened for this couple?

The sift came when they began to communicate by courting one another again.

My thought after watching this segment was that a more appropriate title would be "Dating Saves Marriages". This, not separating, seems to be what this couple experienced. The concept of consistently dating is what we encouraged couples on Friday night to prioritize. Read that blog - "Dating in Marriage...Really." The reason is simply that this is what Mrs. Brick and I have experienced. Consistent dating helps our connection relationally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually.

So start this week, grab dinner and talk.

If you need some guidance I'd recommend the list(s) that Sarah recently found.

Enjoy

Marriage Problems Concluded

This past Sunday Pastor Rob concluded our study of 1 Corinthians 7 and the marriage problems that Paul addresses in this passage.

Sermons:

"Do it God's Way" -- 1 Cor. 7:1-7

"Consider Singleness" -- 1 Cor. 7:8-9, 25-38

"Avoid Divorce" -- 1 Cor. 7:10-24, 39-40

You can find our Community Group weekly discussion guides - here.

You can find a commentary on 1 Corinthians 7 written by Pastor Dustin and his team - here.

If you have a family member, friend or neighbor who is married or single, you should share this study with them.

Live the Gospel, Love the City, Be the Church

Dating in Marriage.....Really?

As a Vintage church family we are studying 1 Corinthians 7 and marriage problems that Paul addresses in this passage over the next 3 weeks. I hope you will connect to one of our Community Groups and gather with us on the weekends.

As a part of this study, Pastor Rob, Annabeth, Sarah and myself are hosting a date night for married, engaged and dating couples on Friday night August 26th. We want you to take a night and come enjoy a date with dinner, dessert, a fun activity and conversation regarding the importance of dating within marriage.

As Pastor Rob has mentioned, an important aspect of every marriage involves friendship. This is because marriage is relational at the core. So together husbands and wives must constantly cultivate their marital relationship. At times this can be really tough, but other times this can be really fun.

We Bricks are proponents of setting a consistent time each week to learn about each other. A majority of the time this involves an evening, when we focus solely on one another. Other times this is a hour over a cup of coffee or Sucre gelato. We have found this to be an effective way to grow closer together as spouses and friends.

4 reasons that I personally advocate date nights:

• Dates are fun - let’s be honest, life is draining. Most of us work long hours in jobs that easily consume our entire life. But is that paycheck really all that there is to life? When I was in high school, my mom always encouraged me to enjoy time with friends & Sarah because “you’ll work the rest of your life.” She was right. Some days work is a real toil. So I’d encourage you to escape the strains, struggles, stresses and deadlines at least once a week with your spouse by trying a new restaurant or a coffee shop.

• Dates open communication lines - Sarah and I like each other so much that we usually try to eat dinner together a couple nights of the week. The difference is that most of those nights we usually have work, chores or errands to complete after dinner. For example, tonight after our dinner I am now sitting in bed writing this blog as Sarah sleeps. But our weekly date night is a particular night when we intentionally focus on each other.

• Dates produce greater sexual intimacy - According to psychologist Kevin Leman in Sex Begins in the Kitchen, sex is a powerful experience that creates strong emotional connections between partners. (pg.21) I completely agree and would add that good sex comes within a marriage in which both spouses are emotionally connected. Personally, I have discovered there is a reciprocal relationship between the two. An exclusive Redbook poll says: 70% of couples end an evening date intimately. Now the ultimate goal of a date night is not the bedroom. Instead the goal is engaging one another. This involves discovering how his/her week has been, dreaming together about your future and discovering where he/she has been challenged in his/her relationship with God and others. But remember that you both will end every night in bed because this is where most people sleep. Therefore this gives you the opportunity to enjoy your spouse (sexually) after learning something new about them (emotionally). So if you are currently frustrated either emotionally or sexually maybe discuss if there might be a correlation that might lead back to the opposite side of the same coin which you need to work to improve.

• Dates treat your wife like she deserves - I’m unapologetically a romantic because this is what I have found that Sarah desires from her husband. In response I take lead to plan a majority of our date nights where I surprise her with new restaurants, hold her hand, buy her flowers and snuggle with her. For one of our couple friends they go sailing, play sports and ride bikes together. Husbands do you know how your wife feels/receives love? Take a night to ask your wife; listen and communicate your love through that way.

Remember a strong marriage comes from constant cultivation. If you think calling it date night is cheesy then call it something else, but make sure to take time to develop your relationship.

A Vintage Date Night with the Wiltons and Bricks

-Information-

• Date: Aug 26th
• Time: 7pm - 10pm
• Cost: $40 per couple
• Includes dinner by YoBreaux, dessert by a local pastry chef, and a Big Artsy painting session
• Address: Vintage Uptown 4523 Magazine Street, NOLA
• Bring your own beverages

**Parents get a babysitter for the night and come join us for this time of fun.

There's not a better deal out there August 26th, so sign-up at a gathering this weekend!

If you're in need of a laugh read this blog....

In my opinion, a big part of marriage involves living and laughing together.

Take a minute and read Mrs. Brick's blog about something that happened last week - Are You Afraid of the Dark?

My morals of the story

(1) I love my crazy scaredy cat wife

(2) We have a blast together.

(3) We try to laugh together often.

"Laughter is the short distance between two people." – Victor Borge

Reading, listening and watching this blog will improve your marriage

Time flies....

This time 2 years ago I was the Vintage Church summer mission intern and sweating to near death in the July NOLA heat. Just as memorable I was engaged to Sarah Monday that summer, now known as "the gorgeous Sarah Brichetto." During that summer I read several books and listened to several sermons in preparation to be a husband. Over the last 2 years there are many times that I have been reminded of and reflected on the truths I received from other men and women that summer.

Now as one of the pastors of Vintage, I frequently reference these principles with single men, engaged & married couples.

From my last 2 years I want to share with you 2 short books, a sermon and a music video that God continually uses to challenge me as a husband.

2 Books

Sex, Romance and the Glory of God - CJ Mahaney

*Although this is one of the smallest marriage books, it is packed with wisdom from the Mahaney couple.

* Chapter 3 "Learning, Leading and Loving" discusses the idea that deepening romance physically in our marriage is intertwined with touching our wife's heart and mind (emotionally connecting).

*Chapter 4 "How to Make it All Happen" gives some practical suggestions of how CJ has loved and romanced his wife Carolyn.

The Momentary Marriage - John Piper

*You can get this book free in PDF by clicking here.

*Chapter 4 "Forgiveness and Forbearing," is one of the most challenging chapters that I have ever read regarding marriage.

* "The Compost Pile" concept discussed guides each of us into Gospel-centered, grace filled marriages.

*Listen to the "Forgiveness and Forbearing sermon by Dr. Piper - here

These books are super small and great short reads.

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A Sermon - "Sanctification in Marriage"  by Matt Chandler

*He unpacks 1 Peter 3:1-7 and discusses healthy expectations and relations for both men and women in marriage. There are some real practical application given for all of our marriages.

*Listening to this sermon would be one of the most humbling and fruitful ways for both husbands and wives to spend an hour today. Listen separately and then discuss during a date night.

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A Video - "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real

*This has been an anthem for me over the past few months as I have relied upon the Spirit to lead and love Sarah. I pray we will surrender our life in this area for our spouses or future spouses.

*Read a blog from Jason Dukes on leading in marriage.

*Also check out the story behind the song.

I'm thankful that we live in a time with internet which provides a wealth of resources for men to be godly husbands and women to be godly wives. Allow God's Spirit to use this resource at your finger tips to develop your marriage. Honestly this is a far better way to use the internet than any sport videos or hollywood gossip that can consume our life at times.

In conclusion, always remember that no matter how bad or good your marriage is currently; our hope is to be found in the Gospel which breaks through to offer repentance, forgiveness and restoration. Mrs. Brick and I are learning that this is an area that will always require constant cultivation.

Enjoy reading, listening, watching and then loving.

-Brick

Limes & an Orange Lessons....

Last Friday night I spiced up our date night with my brand new graduation-gift-money purchased grill. To be honest the Bricks have been having withdraws since moving into our shotgun apartment in August, with no access to a grill.

Our entree was grilled marinated chicken, with a side of grilled corn and Boudin. I used one of our friend Shannon's recipes which you can find on her blog. Most weeks, at least one of the meals at the Brickhouse comes from one of her recipes....she posts everything she makes!

Sarah spent the week in New Iberia and I really wanted to grill a fantastic dinner for her and her return to the Big Easy. I purchased all the items for the recipe and spent most of the afternoon prepping the chicken, corn and my new grill. This recipe called for lime and orange juice. On date night I take no shortcuts so I decided we needed freshly squeeze juice. [You know only the best for Mrs. Brick.]

I sliced a couple of limes and prepared to juice them. There was only one problem.....we don't own a juicer. We have 1,000,000 different serving spoons and pretty dishes, but we don't have a juicer. So in my frantic prepping I juiced several limes and a orange manually, a cup of lime and 1/2 cup of orange to be exact!

Do you know how many limes it takes to manually juice enough limes to reach a cup? 9

Yeah I counted each of the 18 halves that I squeezed and strained to get lime juice from. Imagine how long that takes.

Actually it was pretty funny seeing me squirm and twist all over our kitchen. I had lime juice running down my arm and splashing all over. But I would not be denied! And in the end we had a great dinner on our front porch together. Our friend Ramsey even enjoyed one of the chicken breasts.

Two lessons I gained from this experience that I'd like to share:

• Husbands plan, prep, and go all out for your weekly date night.

Sarah likes to be pursued and dated as my wife. Dating doesn't end after you get married, have children, hit the "mid-life crisis," or retire. Dating no doubt changes, but dating should never end. I can also guarantee you that your wife wants to be pursued, so quit being sissies, men. Go get your bride!

- Husbands today is Thursday.... what are you planning for this week's date night?

The ingredients are simple: some thought, your wife and you. It's not about taking her to the most expensive restaurant, but instead about creating an experience where the two of you can talk, relax and learn something new about each other. Sometimes the most fun date nights happen on a porch, while sipping coffee/tea or in your house.

• The importance of community can never be understated.

One of my favorite things about New Orleans is the value that most people place on community. For the most part this city is still a place where people know their neighbors. When I got to about the 17th half lime I had a profound thought: Why didn't I call _____ to see if they had a juicer I could borrow? And I named about 4-5 people that live within 2 blocks that I could have called and probably found a stinkin' juicer.

- So can I ask you who you have in your life that knows you and encourages you in this crazy busy life that we all live? The value of close friends has been something that God has continued to teach me over the past few months.

Neil Cole believes that small groups are one of the most effective ways to make & multiply disciples. Some strengths of small groups include:

• Community (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
• Accountability (1 Timothy 5:19)
• Confidentiality (Matthew 18:15-17)
• Reproducibility (2 Timothy 2:2)

***Taken from Life Transformation Group Booklet

For me, my Community Group is a source of great encouragement which God uses to grow me as a Christian, husband, pastor and friend. We enjoy meals together, help each other move, pray for one another, celebrate birthdays and discuss Scripture. I hope you will connect to such a group in your city. Trust me, you won't regret the decision. And if you're honest you need it, if not today one day you will, maybe when you're in search of a juicer.

Connect to a Vintage Church Community Group - Finder

Live the Gospel, Love the City, BE the Church....