Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Dating in Marriage.....Really?

As a Vintage church family we are studying 1 Corinthians 7 and marriage problems that Paul addresses in this passage over the next 3 weeks. I hope you will connect to one of our Community Groups and gather with us on the weekends.

As a part of this study, Pastor Rob, Annabeth, Sarah and myself are hosting a date night for married, engaged and dating couples on Friday night August 26th. We want you to take a night and come enjoy a date with dinner, dessert, a fun activity and conversation regarding the importance of dating within marriage.

As Pastor Rob has mentioned, an important aspect of every marriage involves friendship. This is because marriage is relational at the core. So together husbands and wives must constantly cultivate their marital relationship. At times this can be really tough, but other times this can be really fun.

We Bricks are proponents of setting a consistent time each week to learn about each other. A majority of the time this involves an evening, when we focus solely on one another. Other times this is a hour over a cup of coffee or Sucre gelato. We have found this to be an effective way to grow closer together as spouses and friends.

4 reasons that I personally advocate date nights:
  • Dates are fun - let’s be honest, life is draining. Most of us work long hours in jobs that easily consume our entire life. But is that paycheck really all that there is to life? When I was in high school, my mom always encouraged me to enjoy time with friends & Sarah because “you’ll work the rest of your life.” She was right. Some days work is a real toil. So I’d encourage you to escape the strains, struggles, stresses and deadlines at least once a week with your spouse by trying a new restaurant or a coffee shop.
  • Dates open communication lines - Sarah and I like each other so much that we usually try to eat dinner together a couple nights of the week. The difference is that most of those nights we usually have work, chores or errands to complete after dinner. For example, tonight after our dinner I am now sitting in bed writing this blog as Sarah sleeps. But our weekly date night is a particular night when we intentionally focus on each other.
  • Dates produce greater sexual intimacy - According to psychologist Kevin Leman in Sex Begins in the Kitchen, sex is a powerful experience that creates strong emotional connections between partners. (pg.21) I completely agree and would add that good sex comes within a marriage in which both spouses are emotionally connected. Personally, I have discovered there is a reciprocal relationship between the two. An exclusive Redbook poll says: 70% of couples end an evening date intimately. Now the ultimate goal of a date night is not the bedroom. Instead the goal is engaging one another. This involves discovering how his/her week has been, dreaming together about your future and discovering where he/she has been challenged in his/her relationship with God and others. But remember that you both will end every night in bed because this is where most people sleep. Therefore this gives you the opportunity to enjoy your spouse (sexually) after learning something new about them (emotionally). So if you are currently frustrated either emotionally or sexually maybe discuss if there might be a correlation that might lead back to the opposite side of the same coin which you need to work to improve.
  • Dates treat your wife like she deserves - I’m unapologetically a romantic because this is what I have found that Sarah desires from her husband. In response I take lead to plan a majority of our date nights where I surprise her with new restaurants, hold her hand, buy her flowers and snuggle with her. For one of our couple friends they go sailing, play sports and ride bikes together. Husbands do you know how your wife feels/receives love? Take a night to ask your wife; listen and communicate your love through that way.

Remember a strong marriage comes from constant cultivation. If you think calling it date night is cheesy then call it something else, but make sure to take time to develop your relationship.

A Vintage Date Night with the Wiltons and Bricks

  • Date: Aug 26th
  • Time: 7pm - 10pm
  • Cost: $40 per couple
  • Includes dinner by YoBreaux, dessert by a local pastry chef, and a Big Artsy painting session
  • Address: Vintage Uptown 4523 Magazine Street, NOLA
  • Bring your own beverages

**Parents get a babysitter for the night and come join us for this time of fun.

There's not a better deal out there August 26th, so sign-up at a gathering this weekend!

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